


Reflection

by WeirdDaydreamingFangirl



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 00:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18905374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl/pseuds/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl
Summary: Maybe I’m your soulmate, Cersei had said, watching their identical reflections on the mirror. While Jaime began desperately clutching on to his sister’s words in the later years, he had never believed the wardrobe mirror in their attic held any sort of magic.Not until the brightest pair of sapphire eyes blinked back at him.





	Reflection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [THE ENTIRE JAIME AND BRIENNE FANDOM](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=THE+ENTIRE+JAIME+AND+BRIENNE+FANDOM).



> Hi! It's been a LONG while. My apprenticeship has been killing my inspiration to write. The finale killed it even more. I think it's as dead as... never mind. This fic doesn't count though because it's been sitting in my folder for a long, long time. I think I started writing this back in 2017 and I finished this late last year but I never published it because I think it sucks. To be honest, I still think this sucks but maybe some of you will enjoy this. 
> 
> Anyway, enough rant shit. Enjoy :)

 

“You’re such a coward,” Cersei accused her twin.

“I’m not!” Jaime protested. “I just think you’re being stupid.”

Jaime was pouting as he climbed up a chair, not wanting to show Cersei that he _was_ scared. Their father already frightened them before, but he became different… _worse_ a few days ago—when their new baby brother arrived in the house and their mother didn’t return from the hospital.

“What’s stupid is father keeping all of mother’s pretty jewels locked in the attic,” Cersei huffed indignantly, stamping her foot and crossing her arms, something she would never do if their father were around but he was away finalizing some things for their mother’s funeral. Most of the staff in their house were busy. It was almost as if the twins didn’t exist. Even their new baby brother got more attention than they did despite the fact that their father wouldn’t look at him at all.

“I’d love to have her dresses, too,” Cersei continued, handing him a long stiff stick. “But they won’t fit me yet.”

Jaime grumbled about too much work for stupid jewels but he wanted to make his sister happy. At least one person in this house was going to smile. If they don’t get caught, it’ll be worth it seeing Cersei happy. He poked the stick through the keyring hanging on the hook. He couldn’t read the labels but Cersei assured him that it said _attic_. After a few tries, he managed to get the key off its hook and it dropped to the floor. Cersei immediately bent down to pick up the key.

They returned the chair back to its place and walked through the halls, trying to feign innocence as the servants went past them. They climbed several large staircases. Cersei was bouncing happily and it did improve Jaime’s mood.  They reached a simple wooden door and unlocked it to reveal a narrow staircase. The place gave Jaime the shivers but he wasn’t going to back out now, not when his sister was excited.

“Come on,” Cersei said impatiently and Jaime obeyed as they climbed up the stairs together.

The attic had windows on two ends but one had dark curtains drawn over it. It was also near sunset. Jaime and Cersei dug their small flashlights from their pockets and split to two sides of the room.

“Just look for a big fancy chest,” Cersei said. Jaime rolled his eyes at that. They were surrounded by boxes. But he did notice some had more dust than others.

“Oh wait I think I’ve found it!” Cersei squealed.

Jaime shone his flashlight in her direction. She was opening a box that didn’t appear to have that much dust.

“It is mother’s stuff,” she confirmed.

“Okay. I’m gonna look around,” he said, his flashlight shining in the opposite direction. As the beam swept that side of the room, it was all filled with more large boxes or dark furniture much to Jaime’s disappointment, until something white briefly hit his light. He backtracked the light beam’s movement until he points to a large object—a white wardrobe. It looked out of place in the dark room. In fact, it looked out of place in the whole house. Most of their furniture were dark colors or if they did have white furniture, it didn’t look as ornate as this.

His curiosity was piqued. He treaded past the boxes, avoiding a spider web or two until he stood before the huge closet. Its doors were decorated with giant swirls. Jaime took a closer look and gasped at what he found. It looks like many smiling faces were carved into it. Jaime thought it was amazing.

“Check this out, Cersei. This closet has faces.”

His sister only hummed in reply. He could hear the small sounds of metal lightly rubbing and clacking against one another.

“I wonder what’s inside,” he said, clutching it’s elegantly curved handle. Jaime slowly opened the slightly heavy door and he thought the closet bellowed happily.

Light hit his eyes and he dropped his flashlight in surprise. He bent down to pick it up then immediately rose.

He jumped when he found someone staring back at him.

“Jaime?” Cersei asked in actual concern.

Jaime’s rapidly beating heart slowed when it finally dawned on him that it was merely his reflection blinking back at him.

“I’m fine. Just got surprised by my reflection,” he shot back.

“M’kay,” she replied, back to being nonchalant.

Beside the mirror were shelves but they were empty. Then, he proceeded to open the other door, hiding behind it before shining his flashlight into the closet. He wasn’t going to admit it loudly but his own reflection still made him tense—like a taut bowstring about to be fired. Luckily for him though, the closet space was empty. It didn’t even have any clothes hanging on it. Jaime was a little disappointed.

As he closed that door, he could hear Cersei’s footsteps clicking against the wooden floor. He watched his sister pass by him and look at the door he had closed.

“They look kinda scary,” she commented though she didn’t sound scared at all.

“Why would this be kept in here?” he asked, following his sister’s gaze. “It looks cool.”

“It’s ugly,” she declared, though Jaime didn’t think so but he knew better than to voice out his thoughts. So he remained quiet.

“Wait, I think it was _this_ wardrobe,” Cersei said with a gasp.

“A what?” Jaime asked, not sure what she was talking about at all.

She huffed. “A wardrobe is a closet. Don’t you ever pay attention… or even _read_?” Jaime shrugged to hide his wince.  “Wait I think you weren’t here anyway. You were gone with father for a week,” she stated, the disapproval evident in her voice. Cersei hated it when father left her out of things. Jaime hated it when he and his twin were separated. “Mother always gives us bedtime stories. She always goes with the dragons and I told her to give me another bedtime story. Something that was _real_.”

Jaime leaned his head closer before she went on.

“She said that in the attic is a wardrobe, white as bone. The wood used was… I forgot what it’s called…a weird...wood, I think?” She waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t know but it was a magic tree. Mother said they were used to cut faces into it so when they made this, they decided to cut faces in it, too. Then, she said that some of the magic is still in it. If you look at the mirror, you will see your soulmate reflected back to you.”

Jaime scrunched his nose.

“What’s a soulmate?”

Cersei rolled her eyes. “You really are stupid. It’s your true love. Like in the stories. The lady to your knight or the warrior to your maiden.”

“Oh.” Jaime didn’t care much about that. He preferred hearing about the knight’s adventures to rescue their lady. But maybe when he’s older he’ll find someone who would make him smile. Their father may have been strict but Jaime sometimes caught him smiling at their mother. For a moment, he didn’t look scary. The idea of someone making you happy despite everything did hold some sort of appeal to Jaime.

When he looked at his reflection though, all he saw was his and Cersei’s own reflections. They do look alike though Cersei wore her hair longer and they dressed differently.

“Mother was obviously lying. All I see is our reflection,” he said.

“Me, too. Maybe we’re soulmates,” she reasoned weakly.

Jaime snorted at that. He loved Cersei but they were brother and sister. They were also still seven, too little to know about love in the stories.

“So, did you get mother’s jewels?” he asked, changing the topic.

Cersei frowned. “I didn’t like any of them. Maybe father will buy me prettier ones.”

Jaime was disappointed that all of this had been for nothing.

“Let’s head downstairs before someone catches us,” Jaime said and they closed the other closet door.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Days…weeks…years passed and their father grew more distant and the twins felt isolated from everyone but each other. They grew close. _Too close._

_..o0Ô0o.._

 _Finally_.

Jaime dropped the last item in one of the boxes. He’d noticed that he’d had a lot of stuff he didn’t really need so he placed them in a third box to be placed in the attic. He surveyed his mostly empty room and smiled.

He and Cersei had been put in separate boarding schools since they were thirteen. It had torn them only able to see each other during breaks. Jaime did have friends and he knew Cersei did as well but they’ve gone too used to being around each other. Two years after, Cersei had come to his room and they spoke about things they’ve only ever talked about with their peers. With their boarding schools all male and all female, they didn’t really get a chance to explore with the other gender.

Perhaps it was why she suddenly looked beautiful that night.

Perhaps it was why he allowed her to kiss him, undress him, touch him. Until they were literally joined, crossing the angry red boundaries of familial bond.

It’s been three years since then and Jaime couldn’t bring himself to regret what happened in the very room he’d been standing in. Now free of most of his things save for his furniture. He and Cersei were heading to the same university and were pretty much free to be together without the watchful eyes of their father and his household.

He shook his nostalgia and excitement away, calling for servants to carry the boxes that he’s bringing to college. He refused them when one of them offered to bring the last box to the attic. Jaime wanted to do this on his own.

He carried the large box and made his way to the attic. He vaguely remembered a memory from when their mom died. He and Cersei had been up there as children. He had forgotten why but Cersei had declared they were soulmates. He’d never really tread the attic after that because he really had no reason to but this time, he was drawn to it now that he had a chance.

He found the door open when he arrived and made his way up the narrow staircase. Nothing really rang a bell though. It was just like any old attic—stuffy, gloomy, dusty. His eyes scanned the room for a spot to drop his box. Some of his stuff were sunlight sensitive so he went to the end of the attic with the shut window. He made his way there, squeezing himself through a maze of dusty boxes and unused items until he found a spot where he could settle his box. It was a tight squeeze though between a stack of boxes and some large object covered with cloth. He carefully passed between them until he was able to put down his box on top of a chest. Satisfied, he passed through the cramped space—more hastily now that he was hands-free.

Then his arm roughly slid against the cloth, causing it to drop. He turned around to cover whatever was behind it again but he froze as soon as he caught sight of the object.

The cloth had been covering a large white wardrobe. It was plain except for its door, swirling patterns carved in it. If he looked closely, they resembled faces. The faces seemed happy, as if eager to share their joy with him. It would have struck as creepy to others but Jaime had always had a fascination with the odd.

He reached for the curved handle. His mind recalling him doing the same but he was much smaller back then. As he pulled on the handle, the memories slowly trickled in his mind—him jumping at the sight of his reflection, his sister appearing beside him. The joyful bellow he had heard when he was younger was still the same in his mind. _Maybe I’m your soulmate_ , Cersei had said, watching their identical reflections on the mirror. While Jaime began desperately clutching on to his sister’s words in the later years, he had never believed the wardrobe mirror in their attic held any sort of magic.

Then the brightest pair of sapphire eyes blinked back at him.

He quickly shut the wardrobe and ran out of the attic, tripping over some items and his own feet. His surroundings were blurry. Jaime thought he must’ve pushed away a concerned servant but he wasn’t sure.

Somehow, he made it to his room once more, plopping down on the floor and trying to steady his breathing and wildly beating heart.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d stayed in his room but eventually he’d calmed down. He’d tried rationalizing what he saw in the mirror.

 _Perhaps it was a trick of light_. But the eyes appeared lower than where his were.

 _Perhaps it was his mind that was playing tricks_. But Jaime knew blue eyes weren’t something special to him. All the eyes that ever truly mattered to him were green ones.

It could be one of Cersei’s old dolls reflected in the mirror. _Yes. That’s it!_

Jaime stood and made his way downstairs, comforting himself with that thought.

Yet a small voice in the back of his mind was telling himself it was a lie.

That small voice made sure he never went near that attic…for a while.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Jaime had thought college would mean freedom for him and Cersei, but his sister grew more paranoid about people finding them out. He had to clench his fists whenever Cersei was with her boyfriend—some oaf named Robert Baratheon who she met in one of her classes. His meaty hands were pawing up the body Jaime was all too familiar with. Cersei had even taken him to bed much to Jaime’s anger.

“But Jaime,” she reasoned sweetly as she stroked the hairs on his bare chest one night. “He’s going to suspect especially since I go to your room a lot.”

  _Not enough_ , Jaime wanted to say but he knew she was just going to glare at him. Instead, he kissed her and took her again.

For a semester, Jaime managed to tolerate the man, though barely. He seemed to treat Cersei well and was slightly amusing. But during the second semester, he’d noticed the growing distance between the two. Robert hardly paid her any attention. His eyes seemed riveted somewhere else.

“Are you alright?” he asked Cersei, genuinely concerned.

She didn’t say anything but kissed him and for a while, it was fine by him. Cersei came to him more and Jaime liked that.

_..o0Ô0o.._

“Jaime, the library was _huge_!” Tyrion piped and it started his tirade about copies of books in the Citadel, the school he will be attending to the next year. Jaime was only half listening to his little brother though. Cersei had gone to Robert’s for a month in the summer. He just didn’t understand why his sister would go with that asshole when their relationship was clearly shaky but she had insisted to do so just so people wouldn’t suspect. They had fought before she left but they’ll always make up, then make out. That’s what they always do. Even when Cersei was in a bad mood, she always gave in to his kisses.

“Come on, brother. It’s not so bad being stuck with little ol’ me.”

Jaime snapped out of his thoughts and found Tyrion smiling up at him. It was supposed to be teasing but he saw the hurt in his mismatched black and green eyes. Jaime and Cersei were alike in so many ways but when it came to Tyrion, they differed. Jaime would never believe that a baby could kill their mother but Cersei thought he was a monster. That would probably one thing Tywin and Cersei would ever agree on. It didn’t help that Tyrion grew… or rather didn’t grow. Not even Tyrion’s sharp mind could change the way their father looked at him.

“You _are_ an annoying little imp,” Jaime teased. “But you’re the best company there is in this dreary place.”

There was still hurt there but a little less now. Carefully, Tyrion began talking about the books he’d read. Jaime tried his very best not to let his thoughts stray.

“…so apparently weirwood is a sacred tree in the North. Very rare now.”

“Did you say weirwood?” Jaime’s attention was caught now. Tyrion was genuinely surprised at his brother’s sudden interest but he carefully went on.

“Pale trunk, red blood leaves. The Northerners used to carve faces in them and they’d bleed red sap through their eyes and mouth.”

“Why?”

“Something to do with their old gods watching over them. I kind of skimmed over it. Anything about it in particular interests you?”

“Nothing,” Jaime replied. Tyrion didn’t look convinced but he let it go. He switched topics to the mischief he’d planned once he started studying and Jaime was definitely all ears, temporary forgetting the faces of the wardrobe. But as he laid on his bed that night, a wardrobe white as chalk and a pair of glittering sapphires invaded his dream.

_..o0Ô0o.._

“Sapphires.”

Jaime turned to the source of the sound. There was an old woman gazing at her with a pair of eyes that appeared to be more like the stranger rather than the crone. Jaime suppressed a shiver. She looked like she’d been living in the streets for a year, her shabby tent decorated with random herbs and baubles, like one would find in a witch.

“The faces watch over you, boy,” she croaked. “But you must go to them. Let them help you find your heart’s desire.”

 _Cersei_. That’s who he wanted. But she’s been preoccupied lately. It’s been clearer and clearer that her relationship with Robert was an unhappy one but she kept herself surrounded with her clique. They were all shallow women who obviously went near Cersei because of her name. Despite her knowing this though, she seemed to prefer their company over his.

But Jaime wasn’t about to tell the old lady that.

“I’m content with my life, lady. Meanwhile you probably need better life choices,” Jaime spat back, hoping his words would cut her but the woman only smiled knowingly.

“Are you really?”

Jaime left, grimacing without a word.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Cersei was off to Robert’s again for the semestral break. Jaime wanted to go with her but Cersei insisted that it’d look strange if he kept hovering around her all the time. Their father was useless as well on the matter. _Strategic choice of partner_ , he’d declared to Cersei. Baratheon was a big name in politics in Westeros and Robert was the son of the governor of the Stormlands. So he allowed Cersei to go unattended. Tyrion was staying in his school as well. Something about a school party he wanted to attend. Jaime had good friends in school but they were off with their families or their girlfriends. Though his father had an army of servants, they were trained to keep quiet around the family, only spoken when they were spoken to. Jaime learned long ago that even if he did talk to them like a friend would, they were too scared to give him satisfactory answers.

He was basically left on his own in the house.

 _Sapphires_ , a voice seemed to whisper to him one quiet day. His feet felt light and his mind was floating. Next thing he knew he found himself at the foot of the attic’s narrow stairs.

There was a little fear in his part but it wasn’t all fear that his pounding heart felt. He just wasn’t sure what it was. He took one step after another. The floorboards seem creakier until he reached the top. There were more stuff in the attic but Jaime maneuvered himself easily around them until he stood before the wardrobe.

Gingerly, he stroked the ornate handle before gripping it tightly.

_One, two…_

As soon as he pulled the door open, his breath hitched at the sight before him. The first thing that registered was that it wasn’t an attic and himself he was seeing. The attic behind him was all gone, as if the mirror turned to see through glass revealing a dark gray background. But that would be a funny looking glass because the closer it was to the middle, the more the gray lessened, slowly fading into blurry colors as it moved closer to where his reflection should be.

But in his reflection’s place, clear as day, stood a girl.

At least the pink dress told him it was a girl.

She appeared awkward and ill-fitting in that dress. It was silk with fur lining at the collar. She didn’t appear to have curves on the front and the sides. Her shoulders appeared broader than a normal girl’s. Jaime flinched when he got to her face. The girl was ugly and the make-up she had on did not even help in any way. The lipstick only emphasized her swollen-looking lips. She did not have a proper noseline with that crooked nose. Blush on did not hide her the broadness of her face framed and only made her face an ugly red. And that styled platinum blonde ringlets had soft tiny hairs insistently springing out.

When he got to the eyes though, he finally understood why he’d seen sapphires. Her blue eyes looked almost out of place in her homely face and the eyeliner certainly helped emphasize its beauty. Her eyes glittered like the gem in her excitement. Jaime found himself turning to his side and to his surprise, she turned as well. He turned to the other side, she did as well. _Curious._ He raised his arms and she did so, too. Her sleeves draping down, letting him glimpse the shape of her muscles hidden by the cloth. Together, they put down their arms.

He continued doing random movements and she’d follow but it wasn’t exact movements. Once he hopped to the side, she skipped instead, but still going to the general direction he was going. The main difference was Jaime was confused and aware of her while the girl was giddy and completely unaware of him. Other than the slight variety, they were totally in sync.

“Sir Jaime!” someone called from downstairs while he was flapping his arms. He turned to the general direction of the door.

“Coming!” he replied, and turned back to the girl. Her skirts were gathered in her hands without his knowledge.

“Sir, your father awaits you in his room,” the servant was already up the stairs as he said this and Jaime sighed. He closed the wardrobe and followed the servant downstairs.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Jaime told himself he was not going to go to the attic for the rest of his vacation.

That promise lasted about two days when his curiosity, boredom, and most of all, his uneasiness finally got to him. There had been a waging war inside him during those two days. The skeptical part of him wanted to disprove what he had seen as figments of his imagination, but another part of him wanted to prove its validity.

He ran up the attic once more, maneuvering his way around the stored items more easily and finding the wardrobe once more. The wardrobe sounded happy to see him as he opened the door.

Jaime was a little surprised to see the girl still in the same dress even though it had been two days since then. But her hair was down and limp and the unflattering pink dress didn’t look like it was put on her properly.

Her eyes appeared brighter than before. Her cheeks, though devoid of any make-up, were redder and made Jaime notice the freckles he hadn’t seen before. Despite the glass between them and no sound coming from her end, Jaime could feel her happiness. He watched the girl study herself in the mirror. She suddenly frowned and tilted her head to the side just as Jaime did. She appeared to have an internal battle within herself before deciding to smile once more, her cheeks turning even redder. It wasn’t the delicate blush that Cersei had but the splotchy mess on her face was endearing.

_How could you stand such warmth?_

Jaime found his hands cupping his cheeks. No longer to his surprise, she does as well, but on her, it appeared like a gesture of a shy giddy maiden instead of his taking the temperature.

“Jaime, where are you hiding?” Tyrion’s voice called out from below and Jaime turned back to

He glanced back at the mirror and sees her turn back the same time as well. Despite her not knowing his presence at all, they seem to be of one mind, glancing back at the mirror for one last time before going away.

_..o0Ô0o.._

“You’re rather distracted today, brother,” Tyrion noted amusedly.

Jaime waved his hand. “You were talking about some attention-grabbing awkward girl you met at the party two days ago.” He was paying some attention, a tall girl who was about to be embarrassed then she was rescued by a handsome prince.

“Did our sweet sister call today, hm?”

Jaime glared at Tyrion. He’d never confided in him about him and Cersei but he had a feeling he knew. Tyrion had always been the cleverest among them.

“Actually, no,” Jaime said sourly.

“I wonder if my brother has a secret girlfriend. When can I meet her?” Tyrion teased.

“It’s nothing like that, you dork. I’ve simply started exploring the house and made some discoveries.”

“Oh, do tell.” Tyrion was leaning forward, propping his face on his hands. “It might be more interesting than my _fairytale_ story.”

“It’s magical,” Jaime replied. Tyrion laughed at his brother’s ‘sarcasm’.

“Fine, _don’t_ tell your poor little brother.” Tyrion fake pouted. “But if it involves Cersei then I’m staying out of it.”

Jaime wanted to deny it but he allowed Tyrion to believe it. Besides, Jaime was selfish and didn’t want to share his discovery with anyone at all.

_..o0Ô0o.._

When Cersei returned from Robert’s earlier than expected, the twins were back to their old routines and Jaime pushed the thoughts of the mirror to the back of his mind.

When he did allow himself to think about it, Jaime reasoned that perhaps their mother got the magic of the mirror all wrong. Maybe she was just a random girl the mirror chose to show him.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Each passing day, Robert Baratheon’s true colors were getting clearer and clearer. He was very handsy with other women. Too often, Jaime would spot Robert obviously sneaking out with women. One time, he even saw his face inches near a woman but the girl spotted Jaime so she turned her head away. He tried bringing it up to Cersei but they barely had time to be alone.

Then one day, he was invited to go clubbing. Jaime was certain he’d spotted Robert groping one of Cersei’s friends. Worst part was the girl didn’t even try to stop him, returning his inappropriate act with a rather sly grin.

Beside Robert, Jaime saw Cersei seething at the oaf. She did nothing but gulp down her drink though.

Later that evening, Cersei came to Jaime’s room for a quick rough round of fucking. Too soon though, Cersei was hastily putting her clothes back on while Jaime was still laying on his bed, not bothering to even put on his underwear. She had scolded him many times to not be complacent about it in case his roommate returned and Jaime’s usual precautions with regards to the locks of his door failed.

But at the moment, Jaime was trying to make a statement.

 “You clearly saw him. Robert was groping your _friend_ and she _liked_ it.”

Cersei’s pace suddenly slowed, almost halting, but she faced in the mirror, smoothing out the wrinkles of her clothes.

 “Cers, just dump him. You and I. We can live together after college. Nobody would tell us what to do.”

The soft vulnerability of her eyes turned cold.

“And then what Jaime? Don’t you think people will be suspicious of twins living alone together? What will father say?”

“Since when did father ever give a shit about us?”

“He’s still smarter than us. We have a business empire to run soon, Jaime. You must think about our family legacy.”

“Fuck legacy. I want you.”

Cersei sucked in a sharp breath but when she turned around she was smiling sweetly.

“You will run that empire beside me, Jaime. You and me together.”

“Aren’t you forgetting our baby brother?”

“Fuck Tyrion.”

“Who knew your rocky relationship with Tyrion was just underlying sexual tension, sister?” Jaime spat.

Cersei’s glares were daggers but somehow it was arousing to Jaime.

“Is this a joke to you, Jaime? We can’t survive on _love_ alone. We have to blend in, have the right connections. What’s love if you’re starving or homeless? And mundane living isn’t enough. We need sure steady income.”

Jaime’s mood darkened. “You know I’ll do _anything_ for you, Cers.”

“I know,” Cersei sighed. “Which is why I want you by my side, making the right decisions.”

Jaime relented. The things he did for love.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Jaime wasn’t certain how he was able to put up with Robert’s obvious disrespect for her sister for many months. But when Jaime caught Robert, under the bleachers, on the act of undressing a sophomore, all the Lannister saw was red. His fists came flying and he heard the satisfying crunch of his nose. Robert retaliated and threw a punch himself. The poor sophomore was scared beyond her wits and dressed hastily before running away as the two men brawled.

_..o0Ô0o.._

As soon as the twins entered Cersei’s room, they found her roommate poring over her textbooks. Cersei coughed at her before glaring. The girl tried shooting her own glare back but Cersei must’ve been more intimidating. When the poor girl looked resigned, she pointed her thumb over her shoulder. The roommate nodded wordlessly and gathered her textbooks.

A few minutes after being sure that the girl was gone. Cersei screeched.

“Jaime, are you crazy?”

Jaime’s hand was bandaged but there was no permanent damage done. The head for student disciplinary let them off with a warning, likely due to their fathers being influential people. Still, the pain didn’t stop Jaime from seething.

“Robert is a lecherous womanizer,” he hissed.

“Yes but he is the son of the governor of the Stormlands. It will up our standing in the society and neither of us have to worry about one taking advantage over the other financially.”

“Do you even hear yourself? This isn’t even about us.” _Although it mostly still is_. “You _want_ to spend your life with someone who isn’t even faithful to you?”

“Robert and I had an agreement some time ago. He and I will continue our relationship and will turn a blind eye on whatever we do on the side.” Cersei suddenly announced and Jaime’s eyes widened.

“You told him about us?”

Jaime had always been the one telling Cersei not to care about what people thought of them but what he felt was far from the pride he was expecting. In fact, something unpleasant was boiling in his stomach.

“Of course not!” Cersei scoffed. “I wouldn’t trust that oaf. He probably thinks I’m screwing one of the Kettleblacks.”

The first thing Jaime thought was relief. Next was a little anger from the few times he had caught the Kettleblack brothers leering at her but he swallowed it, knowing he had already given them a warning to stay away from Cersei.

Still, something bitter remained. He wasn’t sure what it was.

_..o0Ô0o.._

His hand slowly healed but that nagging feeling in his stomach didn’t go away. He avoided Cersei for the whole week, going away from the usual routes he knew she tread on. She tried pleading with him for the first few days but eventually gave up.

Nearly two weeks, Jaime’s cock ached for her, growing tired of only knowing the touch of his hand.

Reluctantly, he sought for Cersei. He began asking around for her.

“I haven’t seen her.”

“Oh, she was already gone some hours ago.”

Jaime even forced himself to ask a tipsy Robert Baratheon where his sister was.

“I swear, man, I don’t know,” Robert replied. Jaime glared at Robert with finality but the Baratheon’s fearful eyes spoke the truth.

Already asking all of the people Cersei usually hung out with, he went to her dorm. He’d almost knocked on the door when he could hear familiar noises from the other side. Carefully, he twisted the knob but it was locked. He, then, quickly got to the balcony and swung his leg to the fire exit. When it was late at night and Cersei texted that her roommate was out, he’d usually use this way to get to her.

As he inched closer and closer to the right window, the sounds got clearer and clearer. He hadn’t heard those sounds in a while but he knew them anyway. Finally, he got to the right window and the sounds hadn’t ceased—the screaming, the creaking of the bed. The only thing unfamiliar were the grunts. Jaime’s chest hammered as he braced himself. He was hoping it was her roommate that he’d see.

His heart dropped.

Too quickly, Jaime retreated. He almost stumbled once or twice as he made his way back to the balcony where he sat there. He tried to erase the image from his mind but he couldn’t get rid of the image anymore—Osmund Kettleblack pounding into Cersei while she arched her back in bliss. _How could she have moved on so easily? Was I that easy to dispose? Or perhaps she had been fucking other men way before?_ A flurry of questions ran into his mind, each answer making his heart heavier and heavier.

The first thing he did was fish out his phone from his pocket to call Tyrion, but he hesitated. His little brother was finally enjoying his life, away from their overbearing father. He felt like he didn’t want to disturb him with his burden at all.

He put his phone back in his pocket and went to his own dorm room with his wallet, keys, and a destination in mind.

_..o0Ô0o.._

After hours of almost no sleep from his travel by train, Jaime walked to his own house. His father’s guards halted him once he got to the gates, probably thinking he was a homeless man, or a drunk guy, or a robber. But he moved closer and even presented his identification and they took a good look at him, and they allowed him entry. The guards had asked if he needed help or if they had to wake his father but he insisted that there was no need, only to let the security inside know he was there so they won’t be startled.

Once Jaime got inside, he swiftly but soundlessly made his way through the house. He barely even thought about it. His feet just brought him to the one place he knew his heart wanted. In no time, he was in front of the attic door. The door slowly creaked open, as if inviting him to go inside.

He did.

Jaime moved on autopilot. He found the switch, climbed the stairs, and sought for the wardrobe without really thinking about it. His mind was nothing but questions. Whys and whos and whats that had him both craving and dreading for answers.

To his luck, the wardrobe was easily spotted in the sea of boxes and things. As soon as he saw the white furniture, the anger and sorrow and betrayal intensified, bundled by a rope that pulled him to the wardrobe.

He didn’t resist the pull.

The closer he was getting, the more his emotions built up, gathering inside him. He wanted to kick and scream and destroy everything in that attic. Something… _anything_ to serve as an outlet. Jaime felt like he was about to burst.

The wardrobe was finally within his reach and it took all his self-control not to punch it. Instead, he grabbed the handle and yanked the door open with surprising strength.

When he saw the familiar blue eyes unfamiliarly shiny and wet, it was like a pin popped his heart.

Jaime dropped to his knees, tears freely flowing down his face.

_..o0Ô0o.._

Jaime woke, curled on the floor just below the mirror. The attic seemed darker than it was, as if everything else was lost in the darkness of the attic, only him and the mirror illuminated by the light. He could feel his face coated with dried tears and snot as he got up. He was not surprised to find the girl in the reflection but the sorrow reflecting his own made his heart clench.

Unbidden, a tear escaped his cheek and he sees it in her face as well. Yet… something in her face shifted. It was as if she saw him.

He watched as her arm reached out. His heart pounded when his own remained at his sides. His feet, however, took one step forward until his nose nearly touched the mirror. Jaime expected her hand would bang on the glass barrier. He gasped when large fingers slipped past the mirror easily. He didn’t breathe until her whole hand broke free. Gently, as if her hand was small and delicate, it rested on his cheek, her thumb caressing his lone tear away. He stared into her eyes while her warm hand was on his cheek. They were the brightest blue he’d ever seen.

Everything about this girl was a screaming contrast to Cersei but Jaime felt like he knew her, understood her.

The girl was moving her mouth. Jaime would have teased her that she looked like a gaping fish, but he read her lips.

_Jaime._

He opened his mouth, wanting to respond, but it died on his lips. He didn’t know her name.

He reached out to touch the hand on his cheek, to ask her name.

Jaime gasped and his eyes opened.

 _It was all a dream_.

But somehow his cheek felt warm. He got up and saw that the girl was awake, too. They both stretched and massaged their stiff muscles in synchrony.

When he felt like his body could move and feel normally, Jaime assessed the girl. She appeared as worn as he felt and a few dried tear streaks were still apparent on her face. He sighed. They both reached their hand and Jaime almost expected to feel warm flesh against his palm but there was only the cold and smooth barrier between them.

_..o0Ô0o.._

“Jaime, I hope your studies aren’t suffering from your constant… visits.”

Jaime shrugged in response to his father.

“Remember you’re the heir to the family business,” he added with a pointed glare. “I expect _only_ the best.”

“Yeah okay, dad,” Jaime murmured absentmindedly.

Tywin wanted to speak more but Jaime quickly excused himself from the table. He knew his father was silently fuming but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Since his discovery of Cersei, he was either too numb or too angry and what he felt for his father at that moment was the former.

He stopped by his room first to pick up his books and notebook before heading to the attic. His feet easily carried him to the mirror. For a few weeks now, he’d been visiting Sapphire. (He named her during his visit after his midnight breakdown, wanting to at least address her as something.) At first, they’d spend sitting together in silence, just staring at one another—at least Jaime was staring at her while Sapphire was staring at… something else… probably her own reflection. Looking at her made him redirect his thoughts from his anger and instead, steer it towards his curiosity of this girl. Instead of asking if Cersei ever loved him, he wondered why this girl spent so much time in front of the mirror. She was no beauty and he’s certain that she knew it but why spend a lot of days looking at the mirror? He could still see the pain in her eyes and could often see tears escape her cheeks, although it lessened each day.

If it wasn’t that, Jaime observed little things about her. Although he and Sapphire were basically in the same position, there were minute things they differed in. Jaime liked drumming his fingers against whatever surface his hand rested on while his reflection’s fingers were relaxed. While Jaime’s shoulders were slumped, hers were tensed, as if bracing herself for a fight. Jaime noticed each and every day, her posture was becoming straighter. Her stature didn’t appear delicate but to Jaime, she was like a wilted flower, watered by her tears to grow stronger each day.

Jaime peered at the mirror once more and found her face twisted in an ugly scowl. Whatever predicament she had, she was done with wallowing in it. There was a lot of anger in her expression, but there was determination shining in her blue eyes.

Suddenly, Jaime found himself standing up, his fists clenched and raised in front of his face like a boxer’s stance. He used to box regularly at the university gym during the weekends but ever since he went home a lot, he only did it in his spare time during weekdays. He studied his blue-eyed counterpart and while she was more or less doing the same position as him, her stance lacked any sort of technique.

Still, he tried out a punch.

And two.

And three.

And he just kept punching and punching until beads of sweat trickled down his forehead. A quick glance in the mirror and he saw Sapphire was sweaty as well and eventually, his jabs slowed, clearly draining. He plopped to the ground, breathing heavily, smiling like he hadn’t in quite a while now.

A small smile graced Sapphire’s thick lips and her face was so red that Jaime wanted to call her a beet. It was clear she enjoyed the physical exertion. Jaime saw her frame and she would definitely pass as a boxer. He wished he could tell her to pursue it. Ridiculously, he found himself staring intently at her and thinking hard, hoping his thoughts would transmit to her. Of course, she was still oblivious.

_..o0Ô0o.._

The next weekend, he spent the time cleaning and setting up the area. Thankfully his father had been away so he wouldn’t ask so much questions about all the ruckus in the attic. The servants tried to help him but he waved them away. He had no doubt they were whispering their own interpretations about the strange business their young master had in the attic but their father also paid them for discretion to prevent a media outbreak of whatever occurrences that would result in a scandal (and as a Lannister, it would equal to almost anything). But he was still hoping that their paychecks and Tywin Lannister’s reputation would ensure their speculations remained in the mansion.

The weekend after that, Jaime had a punching bag and an exercise mat in the attic. He would have liked to add more but the attic certainly was no place to exercise so he strictly put up those two equipment. Somehow, he knew Sapphire was going to pursue boxing. He’d face the mirror with the punching bag off-center so he could watch her in the mirror. She certainly looked like a beast with her stern fierce expression. He watched her stance and copied it. It was a basic stance and he could see it still needed work but she was off to a good start.

_..o0Ô0o.._

It had become their routine every weekend. Jaime resolved finishing all his schoolwork during weekdays and going home to the weekends to visit. He spent two hours in the attic. Though they weren’t exactly facing each other, Jaime wanted to think they were sparring with one another.

Every weekend, her swings were more refined and powerful. Jaime wondered if somehow, she’d heard him and begun actually training because whenever Jaime wanted to try out a more advanced move, she would copy it. Overtime, she was getting better and catching up to Jaime. Her muscles developed and she was growing rapidly, too, until it was almost as if they were the same height. Jaime almost laughed when he decided to have a haircut because his long hair was beginning to annoy him, he found her hair chopped as well.

 _We could almost pass off as twins_ , Jaime impulsively thought but then shook the thought away. Sapphire couldn’t possibly be as terrible as his sister.

He still saw Cersei a lot because their social circles tended to blend. Despite Cersei’s confession of knowing Robert’s infidelity, it seemed as if she had her arms wrapped around Robert even more. Jaime was sure she was doing that on purpose to make him jealous. To some small extent, it did work. How many times had Jaime had to go out and get air to prevent himself from punching Robert or choking Cersei or kicking the Kettlebacks in the nuts? She probably didn’t think Jaime would notice but he saw the subtle touches she gave not just one, but all Kettlebacks. He’d bottle up all that rage until the weekend where his imagination would conjure the faces of the people he was angry at in the punching bag.

_..o0Ô0o.._

“Son, aren’t your finals coming up?”

Tywin asked one day just after Jaime had just gone from a session in the attic. Jaime was surprised his father was sitting in the living room, sipping tea and reading from a newspaper. Jaime liked having the house without his father so he began inquiring about his whereabouts from the servants and Tywin’s secretary so he could time his visits. His father must have found out.

“Yeah,” Jaime said, shrugging.

Tywin put down his cup and sighed. “What have you been up to, Jaime?”

Jaime couldn’t exactly say. His father would never believe him. “None of your business,” he spat.

His father just gave him a cold hard stare that still gave Jaime and his siblings the shivers.

“As long as it isn’t illegal or if it is, it won’t be drawing any attention to the authorities or sully the Lannister name in any way.”

If Jaime wasn’t afraid of his father, he’d roll his eyes. He was very, very tempted.

“It won’t,” Jaime assured him, actually genuine for once.

“But I’m afraid that I have to put a stop to it.”

Jaime froze for a moment.

“What?”

“One day, I will die, and you will take over the company.” Jaime wanted to say that if Tywin Lannister had it his way, he’d live forever, but the son wisely kept his mouth shut. “You will have to take your studies seriously from now on, especially since this is your last year. I need you to focus and traveling every weekend will shift your focus. Physical fitness is important but you will need to do it in King’s Landing. It’s more practical that way.”

“What about Tyrion?” Jaime argued. “You could let him advance his classes and have _him_ take over the company.”

“No,” Tywin replied firmly. “You’re my eldest son. I would not have your more immature brother be tasked with this responsibility. Your grades could be much better but that could be remedied by keeping you in King’s Landing.”

“But father—”

Jaime was cut off by Tywin standing, towering over Jaime despite the fact that the son was taller.

“What is so important in this house that you come home every weekend to do something you could do better elsewhere?”

Jaime’s lips thinned in a grimace but remained shut. Tywin misinterpreted his silence as defeat.

“Just as I thought,” Tywin said, with something akin to malicious mirth glittering in his eyes. He took his newspaper and called for a servant to clean up his tea. “I will order the servants to clear your little gym immediately.”

_..o0Ô0o.._

Jaime nearly begged the servants to have an hour in the attic. He sat cross-legged on the floor with Sapphire on the mirror. She appeared forlorn and just when Jaime thought she was doing better emotionally.

“Hey, I might not see you… this is stupid. You can’t even hear me.”

He banged his head on the glass surface, followed by a slam of his hand. He opened his eyes and found her blue eyes staring back at him. Looking into them alone momentarily made him forget about the rest of her features. They looked like something an artist would like painting.

“Whether you’ll hear me or not, I just want you to know that you’ve been the light of my life. You really were a great help in getting me through my own shit.”

Jaime huffed to release some tension. His wounded heart still hadn’t completely healed yet but he was hopeful.

“I hope that whatever hell you went through or going through, you’ll get through it. I don’t know much about you but I’ve gathered strength from you getting stronger every day.”

He stood up with a final resolve. All Jaime had imagined about his future was Cersei. He didn’t care where as long as he was together with her. But his father’s offer awakened something in him. He knew the Lannisters have an unsavory reputation due to his father’s ruthlessness but his family’s corporation have a great stretch of influence.

With one last look at those sapphire eyes (determined now), he felt his life renewed, his vision focused on bigger things. He allowed himself to be dragged along by Cersei and Tywin’s plans for so long. Not that Jaime would stray from the path Tywin had set him but at least he could make the path others had chosen for him his own.

Jaime closed the closet with final resolve.

_..o0Ô0o.._

After Jaime graduated, he worked in the Riverlands in the executive department. While not one of the bigger offices, this office was a bit far from Tywin’s influence, allowing Jaime to make this office his own. His father was not pleased that he would not be working in the main branch in Lannisport or the busy King’s Landing but Jaime wanted a fresh start. Jaime tried to make his argument sound like he was not saying a no; that he merely wanted to try and see if he could make something out of the lesser branches before venturing the big leagues.

It had been difficult, very difficult.

When he replaced the retired Brynden Tully, some of the employees—the males, specifically—had thought he would be a more benevolent boss, easily charmed. While the Blackfish was a dour man who did his job well enough, he was terribly blind to the crap these employees had been doing. Jaime had demoted nearly half of the employees, most of them being Freys. One or two were his Aunt Genna’s sons but their mother thanked him when they attempted to cry about it to her. Jaime had also gotten rid of several employees after a woman filed for a complaint on sexual harassment. Jaime also made sure the department provided assistance in her lawsuit and Pia looked at him like he hung the moon and stars.

Nearly four years had passed since he started working there and Jaime more or less felt accomplished in his life. His employees respected him and some did actually like him. The business was more productive than it was before and Tywin had actually called him once to congratulate him on it. It was a brief and monotone but that was the best compliment he could ever get from his father.

But work could only cover his need for companionship so much.

Jaime didn’t have many friends to hang out with. Sometime he hung out with his cousin Daven when or his college friend Addam Marbrand if they were in town, but he didn’t exactly often shared deep things with them. The socialite scene he’d been thrust in since he was little made him rather instinctively guarded.

But the gaping hole Cersei left in his heart gave him a contrasting but equally strong feeling. Behind his walls lurked a great hunger for love. It wasn’t that he didn’t try dating but it barely lasted a month at most and the time of singlehood between his relationships was even longer, stretching for months. Not even great sex made him stay long when he realized how shallow most of the women he dated were. Pia’s probably the closest to a female friend he had and while she was attractive and had made a pass at him once, he cared for her as he would care for Tyrion.

Jaime knew he was being picky but after Cersei, he wanted someone who understood him. Someone who shared his values. Someone who didn’t treat him as a secret, a fucktoy. Someone he could share his secrets to. Someone who loved as much as he loved. Someone who was his equal.

But Jaime wondered if he’d ever find one like that in the world he was born in.

_..o0Ô0o.._

When Cersei and Robert announced their engagement, Jaime waited for the sting that never came. It had been more of a habit on his part to expect the jealousy. During the first few years, Jaime had still felt a surge of anger whenever Cersei paraded Robert in her arm during company parties, but it had lessened overtime. Especially since she’d attempted to seduce him into running the King’s Landing Branch with her and he refused. The next thing he heard, something happened in that office and Tywin had to go rescue his daughter from whatever business mishap that year.

Jaime had realized that they had been two lonely children who grew up isolated in a large mansion with almost mute servants and a stern father who taught them that nobody was good enough for them. Upon further pondering, Jaime had also realized—had he not cut off their already fucked up relationship sooner, it was almost certain that it might have become something toxic. If Cersei’s advances had been any indication, she would manipulate him into doing terrible things for her. He’d even murder for her. The thought had been the one things that had helped draw out the remaining anger he’d felt until he became thankful that he’d caught her with another man those many, many years ago.

Jaime attended the wedding with a light heart.

Not that he liked shaking hands with rich business people and socialites once the reception in the grand ballroom of Casterly mansion took place but it had been necessary. His favorite part had been the near end of the party where he didn’t have to care about being all charming anymore and started drinking with his little brother. Technically, he was still a year away from being legal but Jaime wasn’t and he was able to sneak a bottle before going up to his room. They’d both drunk themselves silly until Tyrion decided to pass out. Jaime wanted to get out for some air, tucking his brother in bed properly before leaving the room quietly. Jaime could still hear the party going on downstairs, echoing against the lonely plush hallway. Jaime took the route where he’d least likely encounter rich snobs and head to the garden, where he always found reprieve whenever his relatives become too much during Winterfest.

He easily maneuvered past bustling servants as he entered through the kitchen door. Once he got outside, he could already feel his head clearing up as he strolled through the neatly trimmed landscape. It was a full moon that night, rendering the tops of the tall trees with a silvery color despite the soft lighting below. The stars looked like scattered diamond dust, winking at him slyly. He’d been so mesmerized by the sky that he wasn’t watching where he was going. But he could more or less tell where the plants were and the garden was mostly off limits to guests.

At least it should have been but Jaime collided with a large body. Both his hands found the upper arms—heavily muscular but smooth at the same time. Jaime fought the urge to caress his thumbs over the soft skin as he pushed the person away.

Jaime silently gasped when his gaze was assaulted by a pair of sapphire eyes. Then, his eyes wandered to the rest of the face—blonde hair, freckly face, that weird nose that appeared to be broken now, and those large swollen lips.

It was her. It was really Sapphire.

She was real.

And for the first time in his life, Jaime couldn’t get a single word out.

“I-I’m sorry. I know I sh-shouldn’t be here. I p-promise I didn’t do anything here but sit. I’ll go now.”

She rushed past him and even as Jaime turned around, his brain wasn’t able to process her leaving. Well, he sort of did but what he could process was her body being displayed in that short tight tube dress—her corded limbs, her league long legs, and her small but firm ass. The color of her dress provided no contrast to her skin but the peach color almost made her look like she was nude.

The shocking reaction in his pants was what jolted him back to reality but by then, she disappeared back into the party. Jaime started running but she was quickly lost once he reached the main party. How does one so tall suddenly disappear? Jaime maneuvered through opportunistic businessmen and groping women to find her but he couldn’t seem to. Finally, he’d asked the security if he’d seen an unmistakably tall blonde woman in a peach dress leave the premises. The guards did. Unfortunately, they did not know who she was at all and who she left with and in which car.

Jaime filed a mental reminder to fire those incompetent fools for not doing their job enough. He sat down on the front lawn, not giving a single fuck about anyone seeing him in such a worked up state. Tywin might have words with him about it later but he didn’t want to worry about it now.

Sapphire… was real.

She was an actual human being and not a ghost or a figment of his imagination as he’d feared for the last four years but he’d been too afraid to check himself. Sapphire had been addicting to him in a similar way Cersei had been once but being obsessed with a magical image in a mirror would have been just as unhealthy as his relationship with his sister so he’d never dared set foot in that attic again.

_The attic!_

Jaime abruptly stood up, nearly hitting his head against some servant who’d asked if he was alright. He ran like a lunatic, making quite a scene by knocking down several drinks. He knew his father and sister were glaring at him but he couldn’t care less. He _had_ to get to the attic.

Just one last time, he’d see her again. Even as an image. She couldn’t have changed and wanted to see her in a better light and burn the image in his head. He would find her somehow, but he wanted to remember what she looked like when they first met.

The way to the attic had an eerily deserted feeling to it even with the muffled sounds of the party. Even his running footsteps was silenced by the carpet. Once he began descending up the steps, the quiet worsened. He turned on the dim light of the attic and tried to remember the location of the wardrobe. It was surprisingly harder to find that time when most other times it came fairly easier to him. He began pulling down sheets. By the fifth one, he finally found the wardrobe. It looked virtually untouched, same as he remembered it but eerily still.

A feeling of dread came over Jaime, thus, making him open the door slowly. The door didn’t even make a soft creak. It almost sounded like the hinges were well-oiled but its silence was in no way comforting to Jaime.

He closed his eyes, once the mirror peeked out. His breath came shallowly, inhaling dust. He never realized how much dust there was in this damned attic. He’s never really had that problem before. Or at least it didn’t get this bad.

Once the wardrobe door was open, Jaime took a deep breath before opening his eyes.

_Green._

He watched his own face fall then turn to panic.

“No!” he yelled at the mirror. “Please, no!”

He begged and pleaded for those blue eyes to show up once more but his sorrowful face did not shift into that woman. Sapphire was a woman. By the gods, she was now a woman. No longer a girl. No matter how ungainly she’d looked. His cock seemed to recognize it before he had.

Jaime felt conflicted. He’d been strangely attracted to her that was certain. But she still looked fairly young and wary. Even if Jaime found her, he simply couldn’t go up to her and tell her he wanted to know everything about her because he saw her in a magical wardrobe. Jaime did not love Sapphire, no, but she had been his comfort in his darkest times. Then she _became_ real and it threw his stabilizing life back into a whirlwind. He hadn’t felt this worked up over a girl since Cersei and he was afraid he’d go down that messy shithole again. Cersei had said that the wardrobe showed one’s soulmate. He knew what he’d seen but why had the mirror stopped showing her image. Was she no longer his soulmate? Was she taken? Or perhaps she had merely been a random person the wardrobe wanted to show.

He sighed, closing the wardrobe. It had been a tiring night and perhaps he should crash in bed next to Tyrion and mull over it carefully tomorrow.  

_..o0Ô0o.._

Jaime was not able to prioritize Sapphire. He’d barely woken up and his phone rang. Ned Stark called about a collaboration between Stark Industries and Lannister Corporation and his wife, Catelyn who was also Brynden Tully’s niece wanted to do a project with the Riverlands branch while Ned took the King’s Landing one.

Since then, Jaime had been wearing himself ragged. Catelyn Tully-Stark was a demanding pain-in-the-ass who did not listen to his suggestions. Dealing with the woman was draining years from him. The woman’s damned demands kept him in the office late and she still had the gall to tell him he was pompous and spoiled. Even with Pia and Peck’s overtime, he’d grown a beard and almost shoulder length hair.

Thank the Seven, she wasn’t there to supervise long when Ned got her knocked up with their second child. She’d told him that she’d get her assistant to give her updates. Jaime didn’t care. As long as he had to see less of that harpy.

_..o0Ô0o.._

“Mr. Lannister, Catelyn’s assistant is here.”

“Alright, Pia, let her in.”

Jaime let go of the receiver and waited for the woman to come in. Catelyn had talked his ear off about being nice to her because she was like part of the family. Jaime suppressed a groan. She hadn’t even given birth to her daughter yet and somehow there’s already had a mini version of the woman. He sat straight in a way that was reminiscent of his father, bracing himself for a scowling woman with judging blue eyes.

He wasn’t wrong.

He was indeed met with a scowling woman with judging blue eyes.

But Jaime’s resolve had melted away along with his posture. The woman panicked at the sight of him as well.

“Oh gods, you’re the man from the garden. _You’re_ Jaime Lannister?”

Jaime tried not to be offended by her not knowing him and smirked instead.

“So, a man who looked so much like the bride happened to be wandering in an off-limits garden.”

She had the grace to blush. It looked more vivid than her mirror image.

“The Lannisters look all the same to me,” she spluttered.

He should have been even more offended but a laugh had escaped his lips. Her blunt honesty amused him.

“You hurt me, my lady. I am clearly the best-looking Lannister. Well, next to my brother, at least, or so he claims.” She huffed at his jape. “Oh dear, you haven’t even graduated yet. You better learn to keep that tongue of yours. The fishwolf can afford to be prickly but it can’t hurt for you to be more charming.”

He’d seen her flinch and instantly regretted his words. She was not conventionally beautiful but there was something about her aura that drew him in. Plus, he remembered her legs and ass.

Jaime pushed himself closer to the table to hide his lower half and began blindly grasping for the paper scrawled with her name. He’d accidentally grabbed a paper with a phone number. Tyrion had told him that all he’d needed to do was get laid again and left him the number of a girl who wanted to hook up. He quickly threw it away and finally got the right paper.

“Brian…” he began but she interrupted him.

“Brienne.”

 _Shit._ He was that nervous.

“Brienne Tarth,” he read, hoping he was right and resisting the urge to call her Tart. He held out his hand. “Jaime Lannister, in case you forget again,” he teased.

“I look forward to working with you, Mr. Lannister,” she said, clearly not happy with the arrangement. Jaime was truly offended now but he tried not to show.

“At least you tried to be polite this time, Brienne.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I was only able to go to the reception of your sister’s wedding. My father suddenly fell ill and I had to take him to the hospital but he still insisted on having a representative for Tarth.”

“By hiding in your guest’s garden?”

“I got overwhelmed.”

Jaime softened.

“Look, I get it. People can be intimidating but you have to learn to deal with them. I don’t particularly enjoy playing nice with all these businessmen but good people with jobs rely on you.”

Her gaze was still wary but at least it softened. Jaime thought they could find common ground.

“I know you’re Catelyn’s assistant and she’s clearly fond of you, but if you want to, I could teach you a few things. Evenstar Enterprises needs an able heir.” _Gods, I’m beginning to sound like Tywin_.

She bit her lip in contemplation. It was not even remotely sexy but Jaime had a strange thought of kissing that gesture away.

“As long as we’re doing our jobs, I suppose,” she conceded with a shrug.

“I think this is the beginning of something beautiful Miss Tarth,” Jaime said with a grin.

Brienne rolled her eyes. “As if.”

**_..o0** **Ô0o.._**

**_..o0** **Ô0o.._**

**_..o0** **Ô0o.._**

Jaime just finished going through the twentieth box and he still hadn’t found what he was looking for.

“Jaime?”

At the voice, he abandoned the next box he was about to open and stood up from his stool. He found Brienne coming toward him carrying a tray of cookies and tea.

“What are you doing here?” he mildly scolded as he took the tray off her hands. Brienne rolled her eyes at his fussing. “You’re supposed to be resting in my room.”

“I’m pregnant, not crippled,” she huffed as Jaime settled the tray down on top of the box he had been rummaging through earlier. “You know I don’t like staying idle. So I baked something.”

Jaime raised a brow at her.

“Okay, I helped the servants take the cookies out. I made the tea though.”

Jaime grabbed his stool and forced her to sit down on it. “I bet you had to fight the cooks to a duel just for that.”

“They’re… accommodating,” she said with a chuckle and Jaime couldn’t help but be infected by it.

“Scared of displeasing more like. Tywin would have a fit if he found out the mother of his precious heir lifted a finger.”

Brienne snorted before turning a little serious. “Really, Jaime. I’m capable of doing things on my own. Besides, I’m still in the first few weeks.”

Jaime frowned and kneeled in front of her, then crouching even lower until his face was eye level with her stomach.

“You’re not going to be this stubborn when you’re born are you, Alys?” he shouted and he was rewarded with a light smack on his head.

“Don’t yell at my stomach.” It was meant to scold but the effect failed with the laughter of her voice.

Jaime straightened up, a mischievous smile lighting up his face.

“Would you prefer I unzip your pants and yell at your—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

Jaime snickered and gave her a peck on the lips before grabbing the mug from the tray.

“Seriously, Jaime. I’m bored.”

Despite her obvious restlessness, Jaime still couldn’t help but tease her.

“Sounds like foreplay.”

“Seriously, Jaime?”

“I always wanted to know what pregnant sex was like.”

“Jaime!”

“What? You said you wanted to be more active. At least make it good for me.”

Brienne groaned. “Fine. I’m leaving and bother the cooks in the kitchen. Perhaps I’ll carry sacks of flour.”

Brienne whirled around but Jaime was quick to wrap his arms around her.

“Fine. You can help me look through these boxes, but no carrying anything heavy.” Jaime fished a large hanky from his pocket. “Here. The attic has been cleaned recently so it’s not that dusty but I still don’t want you inhaling anything.”

“Like your ego perhaps?” she teased as Jaime tied the hanky around her mouth but he was sporting a serious expression. “Jaime, I’m sorry did I do something wrong?”

Jaime sighed when he finished tying the cloth. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried. Both our mothers died from childbirth. I’m not only concerned about the baby.”

Brienne cupped his cheek and stroke his cheek gently. It always surprised Jaime how her large hands are capable of light touches.

“I can’t promise the outcome of all of this,” she told him. “You know how the world works but I promise I won’t strain myself too hard. Just… don’t coddle me.”

She leaned in to give him a kiss but her mouth was covered by the cloth so she settled with bumping her nose with his.

“Well then let’s get to work, wench!” he said enthusiastically and finally got up from the floor, setting their tray on top of another box.

“You’re worried now but you’ll definitely miss me when I turn into a lazy auroch, asking for peanut butter and sardines at two in the morning.”

“You’ll be my _safe_ lazy peanut-butter-and-sardines-eating auroch.”

“We are so having this conversation again when I’ll have fish breath and sticky fingers,” she replied and Jaime gave her a lascivious grin. “Not an innuendo.”

Together, they went through a dozen more boxes. Every once in a while, Jaime would scold her or freak out over little things.

“So gallant,” she drawled when he stomped on a spider.

“What if it was poisonous and I can’t remember what it looked like. You could get the wrong antidote. Or worse! Side effects of the antidote.”

“Okay, I’ll be more careful.”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just making light of the situation.”

Jaime didn’t listen though because he’s stomping deeper into the attic. He was so mad that he didn’t notice a leg of an old rocking horse sticking out. All Brienne could do was scream when he tripped, crashing into a tower of boxes. Fortunately, they toppled away from Jaime. Brienne rushed to his side.

“Are you hurt?” she asked.

Jaime whimpered. “Yes.”

“Oh my gods. Did something get broken? Jaime, tell me where it hurts.”

With wobbling lips and wide eyes, he pointed to his chest. “I’m broken here.”

It took about three seconds for Brienne to understand what he meant.

“Idiot,” she muttered.

“Payback, wench,” he answered with a wink before getting up and dusting himself off. “I’ll handle this.”

Brienne thankfully listened to him, perhaps out of guilt, and stepped back. Jaime approached the boxes when he noticed a familiar furniture he hadn’t seen in a long time.

He set the boxes aside to clear a path for him. The wardrobe was still the same as he remembered it—pale white with swirls carved into it. Yet somehow, it shone like a beacon, drawing him closer. His fingers lightly run over the carvings and he smiled.

“Jaime?” Brienne said behind him and he could hear her footsteps approach. He didn’t stop her.

“My mother spoke of this legend about a wardrobe made of weirwood,” he spoke as nonchalantly as he could. “It has a mirror that’s supposed to show you your soulmate or something.”

“Your mother was quite imaginative,” Brienne chuckled as she wrapped her arms around him, her fingers soothingly rubbing against his stomach.

“Care to find out if she was correct?” Jaime said as his fingers hovered over the handle.

Brienne snorted but didn’t protest so he gripped the curved handle. After all these years, it was still smooth to the touch against its palm and he savored its familiar texture before pulling it open. It was almost like a deep-sounding chorus sang a song of rejoice as Jaime opened the door but the magic quickly stopped there.

The mirror was now an ordinary mirror.

But unlike the last time he’d been seen it, he’d been alone and desperate.

And the one he had longed to see was now standing behind him, her arms around his torso and her face nuzzling his neck.

“She was right. I do see my soulmate,” he teased her and her face looked up just to glare at him through the mirror. Then her expression softened into something that looked sad.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. Brienne let go of him and walked past him, closer to the mirror.

“I used to look at a mirror a lot,” she begun. Jaime didn’t say anything because she’d never told him about this before. “At the start, it was because I wanted to be like the other girls. I know I didn’t look like them but I still tried. I put on dresses and see what looked good on me.” She laughed bitterly. “At least what I thought looked good on me. I didn’t really know. I was no expert in fashion at all. I just wanted to fit in. To be loved. And then it happened.”

It broke Jaime’s heart. She could still remember the first time he’d taken a good look at a young Brienne in the mirror. He’d seen the joy in her eyes, despite the ill-fitting dress. She had told him about the ball for the freshmen, about how Renly Baratheon had stolen her heart that night. Tyrion had confirmed the timeline as well. Brienne had looked so innocent back then.

Sometimes he wondered why the world was so cruel to such a gentle soul like Brienne, but he remembered how superficial people are. He remembered the way her entire face reddened, even her sclera were tinged with the color. The blueness of her eyes had shone with tears and sorrow, mirroring his own. It was another story Jaime also knew all too well. The bet that had transpired on who could take her maidenhead. Thank the gods nothing had happened beyond kissing but it had still been a severe blow to her heart, made her build walls around it that Jaime had to determinedly knock down. He had thought that glass between them was his biggest hindrance, but the woman had been a fortress. Yet Brienne was still kind and good to those she meets, even towards those nasty to her, though she never hesitated to show some steel in her spine when necessary.

Jaime stepped closer and wrap his arms between her slightly swollen belly and swelling breasts. Jaime had no qualms pressing their bodies tightly against each other, as if Jaime were protecting her from the cruelties brought by humanity. Brienne shifted her weight, leaning against him a little before continuing.

“After that, I still kept looking but it wasn’t like before. I needed to remind myself that I was ugly and that this world wouldn’t see past that. And that if someone claimed attraction to me, it was a deception and that they wanted something from me.”

Her voice had been faltering until she was reduced to a whisper. Jaime could hear the croak in her voice, willing those tears away. He kissed the back of her neck while rubbing her middle. Usually, Jaime would softly berate her for calling herself ugly but this time, he knew she needed to let this out. He just simply let his actions do the talking.

“But then I made myself strong. They weren’t going to take me seriously as a girl, so I was going to become the beast they called me. I got into boxing and I liked it.”

Jaime peered past her shoulder and saw her soft smile.

“Most people left me alone since then and it suited me just fine. But even then, I still looked at the mirror a lot while boxing. I wanted to see my progress, my strength, my fierceness, my rebirth. But I eventually stopped putting myself in front of a mirror for too long. I had no control of what I look like so I stopped beating up myself about it. At least, I didn’t let it hinder me anymore.”

Jaime saw her smile falter once more though.

“Brienne, tell me what’s on your mind?”

She grimaced. “I thought about your mother’s story and I imagine you having to look at this face.”

He soured a little. Physical insecurities would never leave Brienne. It was a part of her that he would always have to deal with but he would hold her through it with as much patience as he can. That moment was no different.

Without removing her from his embrace, he moved to the side a bit so he can rest his cheek against her arm. He vaguely recalled that night with Cersei when they were kids.

“You know what I’d think if I saw that face in the mirror?”

Brienne opened her mouth but then quickly shut it, thankfully deciding now wasn’t a good time to be witty, especially if it was going to demean herself.

“I see strength,” he continued. “I see innocence. I see the most astonishing blue eyes. They would give me hope. They would give me comfort.”

Because she did. She was there in his darkest times even though she wasn’t even there. He had drawn his strength from her and she was merely an image in the mirror.

“You’re just flattering me, Lannister,” she teased but he could see the healthy blush spreading on her face and the shy quirk of the corner of her lip, indicating she was suppressing a smile. Brienne might’ve been a boxer but that giddy girl he’d seen still made an appearance.

“Of course! It is my sworn oath and duty to do so,” he teased back.

She shook her head, muttering about how ridiculous he was, as he moved back behind her, wrapping his both his hands around both of hers and guiding them to their child.

“I love you, Brienne, and you make me happy. Never forget that.”

“I love you, too,” she choked out, seemingly lost for words and he laughed at that.

“Okay, enough of this. You’re distracting me from our task, wench.” He hated letting her go but he had to. They were still in the middle of a task and Jaime wanted his stubborn Brienne to not stay in the attic long.

“Oh was I the one who took sudden interest to your legendary wardrobe?”

Jaime chuckled. “Touche.”

He moved in front of Brienne to close the door but then the other door creaked open a little. Curious, Jaime opened it carefully, in case a rat might be inside. When the door opened fully, Jaime breathed in relief for the lack of danger and then smiled at what he saw.

Jaime chuckled. “Would you look at that,” he stated in awe.

“Your weirwood wardrobe is magical after all,” Brienne added in equal astonishment.

Neatly folded in one of the wardrobe shelves is the Lannister wedding cloak they’ve been looking for.

“See, future wife. This wardrobe _knows_ we’re soulmates.”

Despite the wonders he’d seen the wardrobe do, being together with Brienne—his other half, the mirror of his soul— was still the most magical thing in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> While I still think this is not very good at least I pay attention to character development unlike SOME idiots.
> 
> Reviews are nice. It may not cover the hole left in my heart but they're like hugs. :')


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